My fourth child was a darling blond-haired baby with a winning smile and beautiful deep violet-blue eyes. He was a sweetheart! Until evening…. And then the “Battle with the Baby” raged every sleep time at the end of the day for nearly two years. Jeremy simply did not sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time. Apparently, there was nothing physically wrong with him. He just didn’t sleep!
I remember so many times I would fall into bed totally exhausted from having gotten up to take care of him for the umpteenth time, and in seconds I would be sound asleep once more. Then when I heard him cry yet another time, I would look at the clock and maybe only ten minutes had passed! And here he was—up all over again!
We tried everything...making sure he was all right, comforting him and then firmly saying “good night” as I was walking out of his room. We sometimes let him “cry it out”. We also tried all the suggestions the doctor and well-meaning friends offered. Nothing helped.
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| Jeremy about 3 months |
Jeremy was such a cheerful little guy during the day and especially at Church, where our friends and neighbors had a hard time believing he was an insomniac baby. Bottom line-- no matter how long I waited before going into his bedroom when he was crying, as soon as he saw me, he always greeted me with those smiling blue eyes and a cute grin on his tear-stained face.
EVERY night in our prayers—family prayer and my own personal prayers—we prayed that Jeremy would sleep through the night. Yet he didn’t.
One day in frustration I confided to a friend that I was at my wit’s end. Why couldn’t that prayer be answered? Doreen looked at me and simply said, “Georgia, maybe you are praying for the wrong thing. Perhaps you ought to change that prayer. Instead pray, that if you are up most of the night with your little guy, that the next day you will still be able to be loving to your children and have the patience you need to care for your family even though you know you are going to be exhausted and cross.”
Pray not to change the circumstances, but pray that I could let the Lord bless me in my circumstance so I could continue on? That hadn’t occurred to me!
Recently when I was studying about Rachel and Leah in the Old Testament for our Come Follow Me curriculum, I thought about this long-ago experience when Jeremy was a baby.
You might recall that both Rachel and Leah were Jacob’s wives. He loved Rachel and worked seven years to marry her according to the promise his uncle Laban made to him. But on the wedding night, Jacob discovered that Rachel’s older sister Leah was the one behind the veil, the one to whom he had been married, according to their custom. Leah was the eldest and had to marry first. However, Laban did agreed Jacob could marry Rachel after a week’s wait, but he would have to work another seven years. Jacob gladly agreed because of his love for Rachel.
Sadly, Rachel wasn’t able to have children. And Leah was—lots of them which was a trial for Rachel. You can imagine that Rachel prayed fervently that she would be able to have children, too. Eventually, Rachel did have two sons.
On the other hand, Leah knew Jacob loved Rachel more. Perhaps Leah prayed that Jacob would love her, too. In time,Jacob probably learned to love Leah, as well, because she was the mother of his sons and daughter.
Even though that was a different time and culture, we can still understand some of the feelings those women had about the circumstances under which they lived their daily lives. In that story, and many others in the Bible, we learn that even though God hears--and answers each prayer--He doesn’t always give us exactly what we ask for.
In April 2019 General Conference, Elder Brook P. Hales taught that our Father in Heaven is aware of us, He knows our needs, and He will help us perfectly. Sometimes our prayers are answered immediately. Sometimes our prayers are answered after a period of time. Sometimes our prayers are not answered at all in the way we hope, but there is possibly a different outcome which can be a greater blessing. Elder Hales said, “Because of that perfect love, [God] blesses us not only according to our desires and needs but also according to His infinite wisdom.”
I have no idea why our prayers that Jeremy sleep through the night weren’t answered the way we wanted. We just longed for nights with peace and quiet…and a mother who wasn’t tired and cross the next day. Yet, even after my friend suggested that instead of praying to change the circumstance that I might better serve my family by praying to change myself, I didn’t “GET” it.
What a lot of stress I could have avoided if I had realized that the Lord was indeed aware and blessing us. I just didn’t recognize those blessings at the time because I was too caught up in the outcome I wanted.
So, my invitation is to NOT do as I did. Remember that with God’s perfect love, he blesses us relative to our righteous desires and the things we need. He also blesses us using His boundless wisdom of what would benefit us most.
I NOW know that is true!
Change your prayers. Change your life.
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