I don't know how I lucked out, but I have three of the best daughters-in-law that could ever be found! It would not have been possible for me to have hand-picked them myself for the compliment they are to my three sons.
I am acquainted with some women who believe their son's wife is beneath her son, a poor choice made by him. But I never felt that way. I have also been acquainted with some women who did not even like their mother-in-law but merely tolerated her for the sake of her husband. And there were some who viewed their mother-in-law as a built in babysitter or housecleaner every time the mother-in-law came for a visit. I hope my daughters-in law never have cause to feel that way about me. I have always wanted them to feel like I think they are a special companion for my very special son. Consequently, I think they might like me. I have always been treated as a guest when I have gone to visit their homes.
A couple of weeks ago Jeanna, who is married to my oldest son Harold, asked me to assist her in an assignment for one of her graduate classes about leadership. My job was to profile three of her strengths which had a positive impact on me by writing a little background about a situation describing each strength. It wasn't difficult to do. Then I got thinking why didn't I do the same thing with my other two daughters -in -law, profile some of their strengths and write something about them. So, I did for this post.
JEANNA JOHNSON NICHOLS--One strength I chose to write about Jeanna was her organization and attention to detail. She was the person who took on the daunting task of planning for Burgandy's wedding in 1997. I had just begun to work at very difficult employment, Schuyler was having a struggle with health issues during his senior year, and Ross had indicated to me shortly before that, that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. I could hardly get through every day. So, Jeanna stepped up and took on that responsibility parlaying a small budget into one of the loveliest wedding celebrations I have ever attended. It was a picture perfect occasion.
Several months after that, Ross and I were divorced. When the day that would have been my 30th anniversary loomed on the horizon, Jeanna wrote me a most compassionate letter in which she said she suspected I was feeling sad. Her suggestion was to embrace that date every year as Nichols Family Day and celebrate in a positive light for all the good that had come from that union between Ross and me in January 1969.
Lastly I wrote about Jeanna's support of Harold as one of her strengths. In spite of pursuing her own career and now in graduate school while still working full-time, Jeanna has championed Harold by learning as much as she can about his chronic health condition. She has eduated herself by reading about it, as well accompanying Harold to counseling sessions and attending conferences. His life is immeasurably better which has a direct effect on me.
JUDY SORIANO NICHOLS--Judy arrived at our home in Arvada, Colorado, from her home in San Carlos City, Philippines, on April Fool's Day 1994. She was armed with a modest amount of personal goods and a beautiful hand sewn wedding dress. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been rooting up a life, customs, and country familiar to her and embarking on a journey which would culmintate in her marriage to my second son Brice just a few weeks later. Especially because Brice immediately had to leave her in our care to go back to Ricks College and finish his degree. But Judy handled it all with grace and aplomb, even D.R.'s curiously excited and thorough sniffing the night she arrived! When I asked her later about her congeniality, she said her family had all gathered for a farewell party before she left, and gave her this advice. "YOU adapt to THEM. They don't adapt to you."
And THAT has been the case ever since. Within a week, Judy had found herself a job nearby to my work so I could take her every day. That same personal industry has continued through the years as Judy continues to find opportunities to augment the family's life both financially and asthetically. One of those ventures, just one of many creative things she has done, is to do catering for the Filipino community. You can imagine that family dinner anytime Judy has a part always includes tasty food and a classy presentation.
One thing that I have really appreciated over the years is that Judy taught their girls always to treat me with respect. Any visit to their house begins with Judy calling to the girls that Momma G is at the door. They have always come and sat down to visit for awhile in the same room. And I would be remiss without remarking on the incredible support Judy has been for Brice, especially in the last few years with the challenges his stroke and the staph infection on his spine, among other obstacles in his life, have put on their family. She has rushed Brice to the ER, sat with him through the night on so many occasions, keeps track of his medicine, and always, always is there at the ready to do what needs to be done. Her ministering is remarkable to my own peace of mind, as well.
ABBEY ROSENBERG NICHOLS-- I haven't had the opportunity to be around Abbey as often as I have been around my other daughters-in -law, but it didn't take long to realize that my youngest son Schuyler also picked a gem. Abbey has supported Schuyler in his OCD challenges, his extended schooling for both undergrad and graduate work, and his career during and after the time he finished his degrees. All with great patience.
Abbey has also ensured my visits to them are always special with a welcoming home and attention to my needs--is the bed comfy? Is everything condusive to being able to walk, do my exercises, etc? Over time and many visits, Abbey has taken me to Curves but has also indulged my passion for shopping at antique stores. She always allows me plenty of space to browse and take my time. Because of that, I have a few really treasured pieces in my Nativity collection that always bring happy memories of our shopping trips together. Plus Abbey has delighted in taking me to her favorite places to shop--like Jungle Jim's--and to eat real Cincinnati fare like their special local chili at Skyline and pizza at Rosa's.
One other thing that has impressed me about Abbey is her thrist for knowledge in many areas. After Schuyler finished his formal schooliing, Abbey has been able to continue her own advanced education one step at a time until her degree is now in sight. During all that time she has maintained the equilibrium of home, family, and personal goals so seamlessly that she makes it all look easy. Another thing I appreciate is that Abbey respects me enough to sometimes ask my opinion. Talk about winning over your mother-in-law!
Each of these special women has been an outstanding wife to my son and a wonderful mother to my grandchildren. All three are priceless additions to the Nichols Family. What more could I ask for? It's a win-win for me all the way around!
THANK YOU, DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW!
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