The Closing Bars of Rhaspody in Blue

A RHAPSODY IN BLUE...

 It's been almost 4 months since I hung up my uniform for the last time as a flight attendant with United Airlines.  During that time, I have made a weak attempt to go through the detritus of  20 years employment with them.  The first steps were pretty clear:  empty my suitcase and totes, toss from them what I no longer needed then store the uniforms until such a time as I can get them back to the Denver domicile for other flight attendants to take as supplement to their uniform points at Cintas (most of the items--excluding the dresses--are brand new, never been worn, and are still in the original packaging). 

Then the process became more complicated.  What to do with the usable bags, string back packs, and other convenient instant luggage for the occasions I purchased something on a layover that wouldn't fit in the suitcase?  How about the complete second set of cosmetics, just in case I got up too late in  a hotel room with no time to take a shower and  had to go to the airport dirty?   (Only happened once--but that was enough to make sure I was prepared in case it ever happened again!)  A stack of six by eight inch  envelopes crammed full of the paperwork for each month's trip assignments.  A small pile of greetings from other flight attendants wishing me Merry Christmas or just a friendly "Hello!"  Bits and pieces of company correspondence which just got tucked away--somewhere to get it out of the way.

Twenty years!  Who knew it would go on for that long?! In the beginning I said, "Ten years.  Just long enough to get that diamond in my flight attendant wings."  And I would be 65--retirement age.  But ten years passed, and I was in good health.  I liked my job.  Why not stay.  And then it went on for another decade.

 Being a stay-at-home mom was the only other time I've been in the same place for 20 years.  Those years flew by. I quit work at the library research center, delivered Harold a scant few weeks later, and started my career as full-time mother.  Remember... Ross and I had agreed that he would make the living--and I would make the living worthwhile.  

The next thing I knew that baby had grown up, finished a year at Brigham Young University, and I was dropping him off at the Missionary Training Center in Provo before his mission to Paris, France.  The following Monday, I was at a desk in corporate America.  

My feelings about my time at United Airlines, when  that giant chunk of my life as a flight attendant came to a close, seemed almost identical to my feelings after 20 years at home  I looked back and wondered where in the world had the years gone.  Yeah, I remember wanting desperately to retire around 15 years and beyond.  But though some of the days and weeks seemed unbearably long, in retrospect they whizzed by.   One day I was a recently minted flight attendant who knew nothing and was just bumbling along.  The next thing I knew, I was no longer the junior person on each trip.  There were plenty of new people with less seniority than I had.  The bad thing, I was old enough to be their grand mother!  Finally when the world turned upside down with the advent of COVID-19 and it was no longer smart to stay, I bid to exit from the company with a few dollars, some insurance for a limited time, and a "retired" status.

In my mind I could just imagine how it would be when I finally exited the Friendly Skies--I would be euphoric!  I would walk out with no burdens of bidding, seniority, Reserve status, or irregular operations to have to think about and plan around.  I would leave and not look back!  My happiness was going to be seeing Denver International Airport in my rearview mirror.  Travel?  Nah!  I wanted to go the opposite direction of the airport.

But there was no feeling of euphoria.  It was anti-climactic, to say the least.  Only one supervisor was in the domicile office (at least it was one who actually knew me) and no flight attendants in sight, at all.  The airport was virtually a ghost town, and the Departure board had only one and a half panels of posted flights instead of seven or eight panels.  It seemed surreal.

And in the three times I've flown as a passenger since my retired status, I find I don't like being in an airport--definitely NOT Denver International.  Because now, I am no one.  A nobody.  Just a regular person who isn't wearing a uniform--which provided a modicum of respect--and can no longer access doors and areas off limits to the flying public.  I had to admit I really missed that distinction.

THINGS I WON'T MISS....

--practically transparent toilet paper in airports, on planes, and in hotels

--getting ready in someone else's bathroom several days a week

--the inevitable sleepless night before an "o'dark hundred" check-in because of worry I will oversleep

--passengers telling me to "SMILE! It's not that bad!"

--the totally abject and distressing "feel" as each airport has remodeled and taken out all the walkways and installed in their place bars and other alcoholic venues and high end shops that have given the whole terminal a feeling of over-the-top oppulence.  In the end I traipsed down those once "airport like" walkways  feeling like I was truly in Babylon

--living out of a suitcase

--sleeping with the phone by my bed

--the Crew Desk calling with an assignment (Jungle Drums ring tone)

--yearly requalification and the 40+ hours of computer based training that preceded it.  PLUS two days of extremely stressful testing

--scary winter driving to DIA

THINGS I WILL MISS....

--association with the people I liked, although it was limited and about 99 and 44/100% of the time during my duties on the job, seldom in my real life.

--listening to General conference CD's in my car for long periods on every round trip to DIA.  They helped me through traffic snarls that were criminal and gave me a sense of peace by the time I drove into the employee parking lot.

--small opportunities to bear my testimony of the Book of Mormon by writing it in the copies of the Book of Mormon which I found in the nightstand drawer of every hotel in the Marriott chain where we stayed on layovers.

--leaving a thank you note for the hotel maid EVERY SINGLE NIGHT with my testimony about some gospel principle and an invitation to visit churchofjususchrist.org. 

--finding "tiny treasures" for myself and gifts for others while on my layovers.

--going to museums and other local attractions that were within walking distance or I could ride a bus or board a train to go see.

--eating a simple meal in my hotel room while doing a crossword puzzle.

--some opportunities to see friends or family members while on a layover.

--the smell of jet fuel, which is like perfume to me because it means I am going somewhere!

--the respect my uniform afforded me in airports, etc. and going through doors locked to the public.

--seeing the vastness of the earth and sky from 30,000 feet and knowing all this was created by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, not only as our earthly home, but for our pleasure and the sheer joy of living in such a beautiful place.  Oh the magnificent cloud formations and the patterns of farms and fields and the houses and building of cities!  That always generated feelings of great thanksgiving.

THINGS I ALWAYS SAID I WANTED TO DO AFTER I RETIRED...

--get acquainted with my back yard again.  

--organize my recipes and put together a small cookbook featuring the best of Nichols Family Eats

--compile a second volume to my first book "Letters of Testimony"

--update my will

--organize all paperwork, passwords, etc. in case anyone needed that information

--sort through the picture boxes and organize them in some way

--have a HUGE garage sale

--go visit my extended family meaning some of my nieces and nephews that I was close to while growing up

--clean out drawers and look through boxes that haven't been opened in two decades

--and on and on and on

Never got to spend time in the back yard because the temp was in the 90's every day and it was too unpleasant.  When it finally cooled down, it was time for bed.  I just wanted some hot, but not killer, days to bask in the splendor of summer.  Then I was called to teach early morning Seminary.  So there went the rest of the list, put on the back burner until the school year is over.  That's when I will really retire and tackle that years' long TO DO list.

And that is how I flew off into the wild blue yonder after spending 20 years in the Friendly Skies.  But in looking back, it was truly a rhapsody.  A Rhapsody in Blue which captured all the fantasies of everything that was good about being a flight attendant for United Airlines!

BON VOYAGE  to me....

DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW

I don't know how I lucked out, but I have three of the best daughters-in-law that could ever be found!  It would not have been possible for me to have hand-picked them myself for the compliment they are to my three sons.  

I am acquainted with some women who believe their son's wife is beneath her son, a poor choice made by him.  But I never felt that way.  I have also been acquainted with some women who did not even like their mother-in-law but merely tolerated her for the sake of her husband.  And there were some who viewed their mother-in-law as a built in babysitter or housecleaner every time the mother-in-law came for a visit.  I hope my daughters-in law never have cause to feel that way about me.  I have always wanted them to feel like I think they are a special companion for my very special son.  Consequently, I think they might like me.  I have always been treated as a guest when I have gone to visit their homes.

A couple of weeks ago Jeanna, who is married to my oldest son Harold, asked me to assist her in an assignment for one of her graduate classes about leadership.  My job was to profile three of her strengths which had a positive impact on me by writing a little background about a situation describing each strength.  It wasn't difficult to do.  Then I got thinking why didn't I do the same thing with my other two daughters -in -law, profile some of their strengths and write something about them. So, I did for this post.

JEANNA JOHNSON NICHOLS--One strength I chose to write about Jeanna was her organization and attention to detail.  She was the person who took on the daunting task of planning for Burgandy's wedding in 1997.  I had just begun to work at very difficult employment, Schuyler was having a struggle with health issues during his senior year, and Ross had indicated to me shortly before that, that he didn't want to be married to me anymore.  I could hardly get through every day.  So, Jeanna stepped up and took on that responsibility parlaying a small budget into one of the loveliest wedding celebrations I have ever attended.  It was a picture perfect occasion. 

 Several months after that, Ross and I were divorced.  When the day that would have been my 30th anniversary loomed on the horizon, Jeanna wrote me a most compassionate letter in which she said she suspected I was feeling sad.  Her suggestion was to embrace that date every year as Nichols Family Day and celebrate in a positive light for all the good that had come from that union between Ross and me in January 1969.

Lastly I wrote about Jeanna's support of Harold as one of her strengths.  In spite of pursuing her own career and now in graduate school while still working full-time, Jeanna has championed Harold by learning as much as she can about his chronic health condition.  She has eduated herself by reading about it, as well accompanying Harold to counseling sessions and attending conferences.  His life is immeasurably better which has a direct effect on me.

JUDY SORIANO NICHOLS--Judy arrived at our home in Arvada, Colorado, from her home in San Carlos City, Philippines, on April Fool's Day 1994.  She was armed with a modest amount of personal goods and a beautiful hand sewn wedding dress.  I can only imagine how difficult it must have been rooting up a life, customs, and country familiar to her and embarking on a journey which would culmintate in her marriage to my second son Brice just a few weeks later.  Especially because Brice immediately had to leave her in our care to go back to Ricks College and finish his degree.  But Judy handled it all with grace and aplomb, even D.R.'s curiously excited and thorough sniffing the night she arrived!  When I asked her later about her congeniality, she said her family had all gathered for a farewell party before she left, and gave her this advice.  "YOU adapt to THEM.  They don't adapt to you."  

And THAT has been the case ever since.  Within a week, Judy had found herself a job nearby to my work so I could take her every day.  That same personal industry has continued through the years as Judy continues to find opportunities to augment the family's life both financially and asthetically.  One of those ventures, just one of many creative things she has done, is to do catering for the Filipino community.  You can imagine that family dinner anytime Judy has a part always includes tasty food and a classy presentation.

One thing that I have really appreciated over the years is that Judy taught their girls always to treat me with respect.  Any visit to their house begins with Judy calling to the girls that Momma G is at the door. They have always come and sat down to visit for awhile in the same room.  And I would be remiss without remarking on the incredible support Judy has been for Brice, especially in the last few years with the challenges his stroke and the staph infection on his spine, among other obstacles in his life, have put on their family.  She has rushed Brice to the ER, sat with him through the night on so many occasions, keeps track of his medicine, and always, always is there at the ready to do what needs to be done. Her ministering is remarkable to my own peace of mind, as well.

ABBEY ROSENBERG NICHOLS-- I haven't had the opportunity to be around Abbey as often as I have been around my other daughters-in -law, but it didn't take long to realize that my youngest son Schuyler also picked a gem.  Abbey has supported Schuyler in his OCD challenges, his extended schooling for both undergrad and graduate work, and his career during and after the time he finished his degrees.  All with great patience.

Abbey has also ensured my visits to them are always special with a welcoming home and attention to my needs--is the bed comfy? Is everything condusive to being able to walk, do  my exercises, etc?  Over time and many visits, Abbey has taken me to Curves but has also indulged my passion for shopping at antique stores.  She always allows me  plenty of space to browse and take my time.  Because of that, I have a few really treasured pieces in my Nativity collection that always bring happy memories of our shopping trips together.  Plus Abbey has delighted in taking me to her  favorite places to shop--like Jungle Jim's--and to eat real Cincinnati fare like their special local chili at Skyline and pizza at Rosa's. 

One other thing that has impressed me about Abbey is her thrist for knowledge in many areas.  After Schuyler finished his formal schooliing, Abbey has been able to continue her own advanced education one step at a time until  her degree is now in sight.  During all  that time she has maintained the equilibrium of home, family, and personal goals so seamlessly that she makes it all look easy.  Another thing I appreciate is that Abbey respects me enough to sometimes ask my opinion. Talk about winning over your mother-in-law!

Each of these special women has been an outstanding wife to my son and a wonderful mother to my grandchildren.  All three are priceless additions to the Nichols Family.  What more could I ask for?  It's a win-win for me all the way around!

THANK YOU, DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW!

BALANCING ACT...

 
Several years ago when I split my exercise routine and began doing some exercises in the evening and some in the morning I noticed, that unless I had already walked my 3.5 mile distance, it was difficult to do the balance exercises without falling to one side or the other.  Apparently, walking for an hour gave me the added stability I needed to balance perfectly--which so many health care people who have waited on me have lauded.  Here I am a woman well into her 7th decade and still able to balance perfectly--given the right conditions.

Then I retired.  I began doing the morning exercise routine as soon as I got up.  And, to mitigate the impact on Louis who might still be in bed sleeping, I started doing those exercises in the closet with the door closed.   I still had trouble balancing most of the time because I had yet to go outside to walk. But when I started staring at a specific spot on that wall behind the closet door, no problems whatsoever.  I can balance perfectly every time.

Voila!   And here is the reason.

Louis' tie rack is right behind the closet door.  And that spot on the wall I stare at is one of his Christmas ties with a simple line drawing of the Nativity with Baby Jesus in the stable.  Now Louis has dozens of ties, and they are in various attitudes hanging over the rack.  Some fronts are visible, some of the short ends have stretched themselves into only long tails, and most are piled on top of each other without even being visible.  But that one special tie, keeps my focus on the task at hand--balancing.

I've thought about that a lot.  It's like life.  When I focus on the Savior, my life stays pretty balanced.  Obedience to His teachings keeps me on an even keel without dipping from one side to the other depending on what is going on at the time.   I feel like I am in control despite some challenges that seem never to go away.  

It's as simple as that.  Keep your eye on Jesus Christ and His Atonement in order to navigate through good times and bad.  That is the ultimate....

BALANCING ACT!

Not just a chuckle, a full-blown GUFFAW!

 We were driving down the road the other day in an unfamiliar neighborhood, and I glanced up just in time to see a marquee that blared the following two sentences.  

I laughed out loud and when I could compose myself, shared that with Louis.  We chuckled for the next few minutes as we contemplated this simple advice.  There are so many people out there spouting messages that are truly NOT GOOD!  Think twice about the ones you want to put credence to.

BE CAREFUL ABOUT FOLLOWING THE MASSES.  

SOMETIMES THE "M" IS SILENT!

TO "M" OR NOT TO "M".

THAT IS THE QUESTION