#52 STORIES OF ME (week 7)

BEST FRIENDS

QUESTION:  WHAT HAVE BEEN THE MOST IMPORTANT AND VALUED FRIENDSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE?

I decided long ago that friendships are of three degrees.  (But opposite of "burn designation degrees".)  Mostly grand, but sometimes rocky and more of a telestial nature. Yet these friendships all added a certain dimension to my life which would have been absent had it not been for these relationships.

FRIENDSHIPS OF THE THIRD DEGREE: 

These are the friendships I had in school and at Church for my growing up years.  The girls that I got along with, the girls with whom I traded opportunities to go to each other's houses to play after school when in the elementary grades, and the ones who invited me to their birthday parties and later to their slumber parties and the occasional party in their basement rec rooms.

As I got older these third degree friendships were with college roommates, the women in my ward at the time who reciprocated conversation and luncheons, those who served in organizations with me, and most of the women who were assigned as my Visiting Teachers.  They were all part of a certain time and place.  With few exceptions, we never really kept in touch as our lives moved in different directions, either with a physical move or a change in ward boundaries.

For the most part, these were positive relationships.  Some, as with most of my roommates, were lacking any shred of continuity because of dissimilar likes and once in a while a real negative incident which was off-putting.  I'm sure these girls/women felt the same as I did.  Just not that into each other's lives other than knowing a few facts about where from and why-for.   No reason to carry that baggage around for the rest of our lives just to keep up appearances for the yearly Christmas letter.

FRIENDSHIPS OF THE SECOND DEGREE: 

These are the people--and men are included in this designation--who struck a chord with me that was so meaningful that I could never imagine not considering them friends even if time and distance prevent us from being in touch regularly.  These are the friends with whom, no matter how many years have gone under the bridge, I can pick up the thread as if we had spoken just last week instead that 18 years--or whatever number-- had not just zipped by for both of us.

A special part of these Second Degree friendships are the original members of The B.R.O.A.D.S. ( a.k.a Book Reviews of the Arvada Distaff Society), my book club for almost thirty years.  They were right by my side during the dark days of 1987 when Jeremy died, and then continued to support me during the next 10 years that Ross couldn't decide whether he wanted his family or not. These were long-term commitments they made as their honored our friendships.

This  second group of friends also includes treasured women who served in presidencies with me, men with whom I had business dealings either in  Church or in the corporate world, and both who may or may not be related to me, but could so easily be my brother or sister for real!

These are also the people with whom I have regularly attended the temple, the people who have been my mentors, a small group of REAL Visiting Teachers, and the people--in Church and out-- who have lifted me and taught me through their personal examples.

For the most part, these friends and I shared a reciprocity.

FRIENDSHIPS OF THE FIRST DEGREE:

This group is much, much smaller.  In fact it includes only a handful of people who played such a big part in some very pivotal times in my life.  These people have never expected a reciprocity.  They just gave.  They also saw in me a confidant, a sister, a supporter, and someone with whom they were comfortable sharing their lives.    These will be the eternal friendships that will make life after life still so worthwhile.

I think the word FRIEND is a special designation.  I love in the scriptures--and written about in literature and hymn texts--the times that Christ calls us friends.  For me that is singularly important and gives even greater value to the relationship I have with Him. He IS a First Degree friend!

So to answer the question what have been the most important and valued friendships in my life--ALL of them!