INSTRUCTION MANUALS...

Been thinking for a long time that there are detailed instruction manuals for everything EXCEPT some of the most important roles in our lives.

You already know there is no manual about how to get the maximum return on your efforts as a spouse.  Because it takes all kinds of people to make up this world, there is a wide divergence in the results of sincere  "couplehood".  That's a relationship that can still throw curve balls years after the "I do!"  So, it's pretty much understood that even though you are working at that perfect union, some days are going to be good.  And some days are going to be bad.  Heck!  It might be more than some days.  It might even be whole years that are in the "for worse" category.

But two that trump even a marriage relationship without instruction manuals, are the roles of in-law and grand parent.  And boy have I ever failed miserably in both those arenas.  I have read articles and  "self-help" books plus asked questions and done a LOT of observation in my own family and with the people I work regarding both of these kinds of relationships.  Hasn't made a bit of difference.  I am still making huge blunders and feel like I am relegated to the position of "other" grandmother, mother-in-law, whatever.

Now I knew going into that stage of my life that I was never going to be the kind of grandmother/mother-in-law my mother was for her grandchildren and sons-in-law.  No calming influence.  No pillow-y bosom.  No patience of Job.  No pleasant and tender remarks.  I am a career woman.  I am short and to the point.  I  see outstretched arms and sticky hands coming toward me, and my first impulse is to protect my uniform from possible messy situations.  I know I am about as lovable as a porcupine.

So, I can understand the "why" of being on the outer fringes.  Still.....I have high hopes that someday my peeps will look at me and find out I'm kinda okay after all.

One can always dream, can't they?