About 20 years ago when I pulled up my schedule for September flying with United Airlines, I saw that I had been assigned eight days of vacation and had no vacation plans. So, I decided to visit with each of my kids individually for a few hours (just one on one with me without their spouse or children) in the hopes that maybe I could get reacquainted with the people whose lives I used to be in the middle of on a daily basis for so many years while they were growing up. Truthfully, I could no longer remember stuff such as who liked peas and who didn’t and what each person’s favorite Nichols Family activity was. In spite of the fact some of the conversations took a more serious turn, I looked back on the whole experience as a satisfying one. I liked it and had fun with each one of my kids.
Once again, I was not disappointed. In fact, I came away from each experience
thinking to myself we had some really great discussions about a variety of
topics. Best of all I was reminded of
the terrific person each of my children is.
I spent a fair amount of time pondering the moot question “What in the
world did I do to have the privilege of being the mother of the Nichols Kids?" Whatever it was, I was so very glad we belonged
to each other.
In spite of
the fact I heard later that the “one on one” with ”probing” questions made a
couple of my kids uncomfortable because they saw it as a quiz about their life
instead of a genuine interest in who they had become, I still think fondly on
those two vacations when I purposely spent intentional time with each of
them.
Sure, the lunch or dinner, or the visit to my grandmother's tiny little town, or the shopping trip or just sitting on a bench outside the temple after a session were fun. It varied with the kid I was with. But it was just the "being" with them that made it special for me. I loved them. I loved being with them.
This September 2025 is the 30th anniversary of a Proclamation about the family which the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints published for the world. It teaches about family, marriage, and gender, and their part in the kingdom of Heavenly Father. "The family is central to the creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children."
Family is one of the words that matter in this document. It says we have a responsibility to love and care for each other. And that includes our parents in one direction and our children in the other direction. We supported and cared for each other. We celebrated birthdays, baptisms, weddings, graduations, mission calls, marriages, and many other things. We as a family are there for each other!
I continue to marvel at how well my children grew into their adult roles, providing for and nurturing their own families and friends along the way.
But most of all, I appreciate each of them for their acceptance of me no matter what, even though I made a lot of blunders as a parent along the way—and still do even though I am staring my 80th birthday in the face.
I once read
that Denzel Washington said, “We’re all destined to leave some kind of mark in
this world. Sometimes we may miss that
mark, but with a push in the right direction from time to time, we can set a
positive example for others to follow.”
He continued, “We’re all extraordinary, in our own way, and that it’s
what we do with our extraordinariness that sets us apart and makes all the
difference.”
I believe Denzel Washington’s comments reflect how I feel about each one of my children. Each in his/her own way is an example to me of some unique trait that is worth emulation. But that’s what families are for...to teach and to learn from each other.
And, I am glad we are in the same family--forever!
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