I did not even know until last Friday that there was such a thing. Yup! Seems that some woman by the name of Marian McQuade and a man by the name of Jacob Reingold, in different parts of the country, had similar ideas shortly after the ascendancy of the "hippie generation." They lobbied nearly two decades for a special day to honor elderly people whom they saw as valuable assets for all of us.
President Jimmy Carter signed into law on September 6, 1979, that the first Sunday after Labor Day would be set aside each year to honor grandparents in the hope that society could learn from "grandparents whose values transcend passing fads and pressures, and who possess the wisdom of distilled pain and joy" and because "our senior generation also provides our society a link to our national heritage and traditions."
The following is excerpted from a recent article by Lily Rothman who was commenting on an article in TIME Magazine August 3, 1970, titled "Growing Old in America/The Unwanted Generation".
"The culture of the 1960's was largely driven by younger people, and older generations, who were living longer than ever, were increasingly seen as out of touch and of dimished value. And that hippie culture of the 60's felt as though the aged were an alien race to which the young would never belong. (HAHA!)
"Sociologists and anthropologists at the time declared that there was a distinct discrimination against the old that could be termed 'ageism'--not wanting to have all these ugly old people around. These professionals believed that in 25-30 years, ageism would be a problem equal to racism."
So began a counter movement to venerate and celebrate for their invaluable experiences the old and the elderly, those generations who had gone on before--our grandparents.
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It just so happens that I taught the lesson in Relief Society today from the Ezra Taft Benson manual about the elderly. I asked the young sister who normally teaches on the second Sunday if she would consider trading her lesson for mine on the fourth Sunday. (Teaching For Our Times--for September Linda K. Burton's remarks from April 2015 General Conference) She agreed to do that.
This address by President Benson was delivered in October 1989 General Conference shortly after President Benson's 90th birthday. His health was failing at that time, and his remarks were read by President Monson who was his second counselor in the First Presidency. Although President Benson didn't die for another five years following this address to the Elderly, he suffered from the effects of blood clots on the brain, dementia, strokes, and heart attacks and was rarely seen publicly.
This talk was the opening of October General Conference that year on Saturday September 30, 1989. I was 44 years old. On the previous Wednesday I had just delivered my oldest son to the MTC for his mission to Paris. Two days later on the following Monday morning I was sitting at a desk in Corporate America after having been at home for 20 years.
I can tell you for sure that during President Benson's talk, I was NOT thinking about the elderly--though according to my notes in the November 1989 Ensign I read it on December 11th of that year--and now 26 years later I ARE one!
I was curious as to where a person steps over the line into "old age" or elderly or senior citizen or golden years, so I did what any self-respecting individual in the 21st Century does now--I GOOGLED it!
Briefly, this is what I found out:
In most nations, except Africa, the official age for elderly is 65.
· Now, however,
instead of a chronological age, elderly is defined by health condition,
outlook, mobility, and involvement.
· Fifty is the new 70!
· Some people resent
the euphemism of elderly, etc. and just plain want to be called "OLD"
and respected for their wisdom and experience.
· Age is not a number
but an attitude.
· Ninety is old age.
· A lot of people
NEVER make it to old age, so it's nothing to sneeze at.
Part of the lesson had to do with habits we need to establish now to make the most of our senior years: missionary work, attend and work in the temple, financial planning, be active and healthy, etc.
We also discussed
*some synonyms for honor and respect President Benson talked about:
--high regard, love and appreciate, concerned about happiness and well-being, courtesy and thoughtful consideration, understand their point of view, obedience to their righteous desires and wishes, show gratitude
And then President Benson reminded us
*parents and grandparents gave us life itself and sacrificed for us as they nurtured, nursed, provided, were an example
*to be forgiving for mistakes they might have made, they did the best they knew how (we would want our own children to forgive us, too)
When he got to the part that closeness to grandparents and other elderly people.
can be a rich companionship and blessing, this is what I shared with the class:
My mother's father died about age 51 when my mother was 14 years old. My father's father died around the age of 73 just after the Second World War began. Obviously, I didn't know either of them.
And my grand mothers were elderly when I was born. I don't think they ever knew my name really. I was Maude's youngest or Mel's youngest depending on which family we were around--and they lived in Utah and Idaho and we lived in Wyoming. Perhaps you didn't know that it was farther for them to travel FROM Utah and Idaho to Wyoming, than it was for us to travel from Wyoming to Utah and Idaho. Now that defies the law of physics! So naturally, we weren't around extended family very much.
My father's mother died from the result of a broken hip when she was in her early 80's when I was in the Second Grade. She was a scary person both to look at and in her demeanor--she had a hunch back and she had a sharp tongue and was not really a warm person. My brother in law who was a physician was pretty sure she had undiagnosed osteoporosis hence the gnarled spine and the hip broken during a fall. As for the abrasiveness and distance, WHAT A SURPRISE! The older I get, the more I think I am like her. It’s not just eye color and nose shape that goes through those genes. My mother said her mother-in-law could be hard, but she was loving and generous and always ready to help in many, many ways including having my mother and her five young girls live with her when my dad was working on the RR in Wyoming during the Depression. Now I understand Grandma Huggins a little better, but because of some of those details I didn't want to be called GRAAMA. Besides I also knew what Grandma Nichols looked like. Uhuh! Not for me. I am Momma G.
My mother's mother was Mother of the Year for the state of Utah sometime in the mid-50's. She was a little bit of a thing, just 4' 10" and had the cutest little house with a glass curio sporting little magnetized terrier dogs, one black and one white. I loved playing with them, and wonder if this early experience fostered the love I have for all things miniature and in a glass case! She was a novelty because I was almost as big as she was. But by the time she died when I was in the 6th grade, she had pleurisy and because of the water retention had ballooned into someone that was freakish to look at. It was really no big deal to me when she died. She had been in a nursing home for several years by that time and I hadn't seen her for years.
So, NO! I did not have a closeness to grandparents, etc. When my college roommate Lyn's grandmother died, she was heartbroken. Based on my own experiences--and totally immature in my ability to perceive a life experience different from my own--I just couldn't see what the big deal was that Lyn's grandma had died. I've grown up some. But I am still sometimes surprised when people are so affected by a grandparent's death.
Then I asked the sisters to think of one word that would tell the rest of us a little about a grandparent, a parent, or a relationship with an elderly person.
Following that discussion, in which some really great relationships and experiences were shared, I said:
Here's the difference between my experience with grandparents and yours: you got to spend time with your people. I didn't. I never got to know them enough to care for or about them.
*grandparents who visit, come to dinner, have you over for dinner, for FHE, get together for other special events like baptisms, priesthood advancements, graduations, weddings, temple excursions etc. demonstrate that spending time together and knowing their grandchildren, as best they can, is important
*these are opportunities for teaching, honoring, loving, respecting, and giving care on both sides.
*grandparents can give their children perspective and application of gospel principles as well as bring security, peace and strength even when communication is through letters, recordings, now skyping, and exchange of pictures, especially the important times for which the grand parents DON'T get to be there.
* also make opportunities for your important elderly to give an oral history of their lives (oral histories die out in three generations)
By doing these kinds of things, grandparents can have a profound influence on their grandchildren
We closed the lesson with these two priniciples.
1--Priesthood and RS leaders should prayerfully seek the spirit in helping members meet the needs of the elderly.
2--The Lord knows and loves the elderly
In closing, I challenged the sisters to act on what we had discussed today and choose one activity to apply the principles we learned about the elderly.
I told them I choose to go visit my 88 year old sister Bette who could probably give me some interesting background about my family--parents, sisters, and brother--because she was there pretty close to the beginning when my parents were in their 20's, not 40's with grown up children--and ME. And she may be able to share with me other details about my sisters that are vague to me because of my place in the family. The End.
This is a long blog. But knowing about the elderly is an important aspect of our eternal lives: honoring and respecting those who have gone before us. There is a lot in their lives that can be a lesson and a source of encouragement during times in our lives when we need a broader vision. Use your parents and grandparents as a resourse!
Thought you might enjoy seeing some pictures of my grandparents .
My father's parents: John Ephraim Huggins and Lovinia Ann Draper. This must have been shortly before Grandpa died in 1942. No date or place on the picture. If before 1942, then Grandpa would have been in his early 70's and Grandma in her late 60's--my age!
My mother's parents' wedding picture. They were married March 23, 1888, in the Logan Temple. James George Crane was 22 years old, and his bride Sarah Jane Crane was 16!
*some synonyms for honor and respect President Benson talked about:
--high regard, love and appreciate, concerned about happiness and well-being, courtesy and thoughtful consideration, understand their point of view, obedience to their righteous desires and wishes, show gratitude
And then President Benson reminded us
*parents and grandparents gave us life itself and sacrificed for us as they nurtured, nursed, provided, were an example
*to be forgiving for mistakes they might have made, they did the best they knew how (we would want our own children to forgive us, too)
When he got to the part that closeness to grandparents and other elderly people.
can be a rich companionship and blessing, this is what I shared with the class:
My mother's father died about age 51 when my mother was 14 years old. My father's father died around the age of 73 just after the Second World War began. Obviously, I didn't know either of them.
And my grand mothers were elderly when I was born. I don't think they ever knew my name really. I was Maude's youngest or Mel's youngest depending on which family we were around--and they lived in Utah and Idaho and we lived in Wyoming. Perhaps you didn't know that it was farther for them to travel FROM Utah and Idaho to Wyoming, than it was for us to travel from Wyoming to Utah and Idaho. Now that defies the law of physics! So naturally, we weren't around extended family very much.
My father's mother died from the result of a broken hip when she was in her early 80's when I was in the Second Grade. She was a scary person both to look at and in her demeanor--she had a hunch back and she had a sharp tongue and was not really a warm person. My brother in law who was a physician was pretty sure she had undiagnosed osteoporosis hence the gnarled spine and the hip broken during a fall. As for the abrasiveness and distance, WHAT A SURPRISE! The older I get, the more I think I am like her. It’s not just eye color and nose shape that goes through those genes. My mother said her mother-in-law could be hard, but she was loving and generous and always ready to help in many, many ways including having my mother and her five young girls live with her when my dad was working on the RR in Wyoming during the Depression. Now I understand Grandma Huggins a little better, but because of some of those details I didn't want to be called GRAAMA. Besides I also knew what Grandma Nichols looked like. Uhuh! Not for me. I am Momma G.
My mother's mother was Mother of the Year for the state of Utah sometime in the mid-50's. She was a little bit of a thing, just 4' 10" and had the cutest little house with a glass curio sporting little magnetized terrier dogs, one black and one white. I loved playing with them, and wonder if this early experience fostered the love I have for all things miniature and in a glass case! She was a novelty because I was almost as big as she was. But by the time she died when I was in the 6th grade, she had pleurisy and because of the water retention had ballooned into someone that was freakish to look at. It was really no big deal to me when she died. She had been in a nursing home for several years by that time and I hadn't seen her for years.
So, NO! I did not have a closeness to grandparents, etc. When my college roommate Lyn's grandmother died, she was heartbroken. Based on my own experiences--and totally immature in my ability to perceive a life experience different from my own--I just couldn't see what the big deal was that Lyn's grandma had died. I've grown up some. But I am still sometimes surprised when people are so affected by a grandparent's death.
Then I asked the sisters to think of one word that would tell the rest of us a little about a grandparent, a parent, or a relationship with an elderly person.
Following that discussion, in which some really great relationships and experiences were shared, I said:
Here's the difference between my experience with grandparents and yours: you got to spend time with your people. I didn't. I never got to know them enough to care for or about them.
*grandparents who visit, come to dinner, have you over for dinner, for FHE, get together for other special events like baptisms, priesthood advancements, graduations, weddings, temple excursions etc. demonstrate that spending time together and knowing their grandchildren, as best they can, is important
*these are opportunities for teaching, honoring, loving, respecting, and giving care on both sides.
*grandparents can give their children perspective and application of gospel principles as well as bring security, peace and strength even when communication is through letters, recordings, now skyping, and exchange of pictures, especially the important times for which the grand parents DON'T get to be there.
* also make opportunities for your important elderly to give an oral history of their lives (oral histories die out in three generations)
By doing these kinds of things, grandparents can have a profound influence on their grandchildren
We closed the lesson with these two priniciples.
1--Priesthood and RS leaders should prayerfully seek the spirit in helping members meet the needs of the elderly.
2--The Lord knows and loves the elderly
In closing, I challenged the sisters to act on what we had discussed today and choose one activity to apply the principles we learned about the elderly.
I told them I choose to go visit my 88 year old sister Bette who could probably give me some interesting background about my family--parents, sisters, and brother--because she was there pretty close to the beginning when my parents were in their 20's, not 40's with grown up children--and ME. And she may be able to share with me other details about my sisters that are vague to me because of my place in the family. The End.
This is a long blog. But knowing about the elderly is an important aspect of our eternal lives: honoring and respecting those who have gone before us. There is a lot in their lives that can be a lesson and a source of encouragement during times in our lives when we need a broader vision. Use your parents and grandparents as a resourse!
Thought you might enjoy seeing some pictures of my grandparents .
My father's parents: John Ephraim Huggins and Lovinia Ann Draper. This must have been shortly before Grandpa died in 1942. No date or place on the picture. If before 1942, then Grandpa would have been in his early 70's and Grandma in her late 60's--my age!
My mother's parents' wedding picture. They were married March 23, 1888, in the Logan Temple. James George Crane was 22 years old, and his bride Sarah Jane Crane was 16!
